What Do We Really Hunger For?
The Buddha taught that the root of all suffering was craving and aversion and it is often those roots that feed our addictions in life. We are junkies looking for the next “hit”: the new electronic device, the cookies in the pantry, the discounts at the grocery store that we must take advantage of even though we have no space in the house for more food, the rumor that we just heard that must be told to someone, the news on TV that we just can’t believe is happening in the world, the latest Netflix full season drop, etc. All things that are meant to change and evolve yet, with our desire in tow, we try our damnedest to hold on to its lure and the feeling it gives us, inevitably getting caught in a web of suffering.
In her book Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach, Ph.D. states that,
“When [Buddha] said craving causes suffering, he was referring not to our natural inclination as living beings to have wants and needs, but to our habit of clinging to experience that must, by nature, pass away” (129).
The human feeling of gratification and satisfaction were never meant to stick. The high from buying the new gadget will fade, as will the feeling from eating the cookies and watching the full season of The Crown in one go; as does the jolt of adrenaline we receive from watching the latest news break. Everything passes, along with the feeling it gives us. And then what? Usually we are left searching for the next high so that wonderful feeling of euphoria can continue. Thus, we crave that next best thing and continue to do so over and over again, until eventually we have had enough of that cycle and recognize it is time to look behind the curtain of our desires, wherein lies the root of suffering. As Brach explains, we intrinsically have wants and needs, as it is part of the human process, however it is our experience and reaction to our desires that creates discomfort on our path. When we awaken from the cycle of suffering and simply ask, “why do we want what we want?” we open the doors of our awareness to the gift of a special presence and a listening heart, as we discover what it is we are truly hungry for.
As I wrap-up Week 1 of Whole30, I, along with my partner, have tried 11 new recipes which created 6 new meals this week with the mixture of main dishes, sauces, and sides. The beginning of the adventure, as with all beginnings, has been fun, exciting, and new. Each meal has felt like it has discovered a new land within my stomach that I didn’t know was yet to be inhabited. There are new flavors, combos, and ways of doing things that I hadn’t even imagined before. For example, have you tried eating a sweet potato with ghee in the morning for breakfast? Yum! But although this new nutrition regime has filled my mind with inspiration, my body at times still craves for what it has known, those wonderful euphoric feelings I get from certain foods and outer stimulations. It is as though my stomach has said, “this was okay for a few days but what about my sweet treats, my crackers, and my humus? And what about how we would eat something sweet and watch a bit of Downton Abby or How I Met Your Mother?” (Side note: re-watching old shows that I have seen before is my vice at the moment.) I have discovered that watching Downton Abby or How I Met Your Mother is just not the same without its food coma combo. I could mask my cravings at first with the newness but now the jig is up and I am left asking myself, and my body, “what am I really hungry for?” Since I am no longer feeding certain cravings, and thus not getting that “hit,” I am left soberly asking myself bigger questions and listening to starkly honest answers, where it appears as though I have been hiding from myself in certain areas of my life and where I can be living my life more fully and respectfully.
In no way am I depriving myself with Whole30, again as humans we will have desires and wants but I know that I am eating plenty of healthy and tasty food, yet my brain and stomach know that something is up and wants what it has always gotten, its control over me. Thus, I find that there is a difference between starving myself and starving those habitual tendencies to certain cravings or aversions, which are often driven by giving my power over to the mind and body, albeit in an unhealthy way. As I explore life outside my norms, it has enabled me to become more aware of the subtleties that come from the root of suffering. I realize that suffering is not suffering until I start playing a game with it, until I start bouncing between the two sides of the same coin: craving and aversion. But now, I pause and explore the power of the question, “what am I really hungry for?”
Once I get past the noise on the surface of my desires and wants, those things that only give me a high until the next high comes along, I notice there is a spaciousness that has been waiting for me, a still small voice that wants an ear to listen and a heart to open. There is a conversation that wants to be had. A conversation about fears and ideas and other places within my Mind that want to be explored. Doors want to be opened. A new way of being and living wants to be known, given a chance, and expressed.
The Buddha has also said that part of life is suffering, however, he did not mean it as we are all condemned to a miserable life. His teachings show us that if we brave the suffering and explore it we will see that within our vulnerability and impressionability, our power lies. As the spiritual text, A Course in Miracles, states in Lesson 153,
“In my defenselessness my safety lies” (284).
It is in our softness where we find our strength and it is where we believe we are powerless that holds the key to our power. Cravings and aversions are not crosses that we must bear but rather curtains to be opened to see what is behind so we can ask ourselves, “what am I hiding from and what is it that I am really hungry for?” It is our human experience that leads us to what makes us that presence that is beyond human. It is there, in, of, and beyond our cravings and aversions, waiting to be fully known. Namaste.
Resources:
A Foundation For Inner Peace. A Course in Miracles. A Foundation For Inner Peace, 1993.
Brach Ph.D, Tara. Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With The Heart of A Buddha. Bantam Dell, 2003.