Lesson 68
Love holds no grievances.
We continue our remembrance that we, and all our brothers and sisters in Christ, are Love. No one is exempt from this Truth in identity. If you feel this cannot be so, know that is the voice for ego, as Source is incapable of such grievances.
“Perhaps you do not yet fully realize just what holding grievances does to your mind. It seems to split you off from your Source and make you unlike Him” (ACIM Lesson 68 1:5-6).
So subtle are we getting in identifying our attack thoughts. So subtle are we getting in making sure all is forgiven. As we have said before, “not even a pinky can be left out of heaven.” You cannot claim heaven with a split mind. Any sort of grievance will surely keep you from the remembrance of the heaven that surrounds you.
We must fully clean the home that is our mind and leave no exceptions behind, as there are none. You cannot say, “but so and so did this, or so and so harmed me so bad that it is impossible to forgive him or her.” There are no “if, and’s, or buts” with this.
“You who were created by Love like Itself can hold no grievances and know your Self” (ACIM Lesson 68 1:1).
A couple years ago, I was doing a big clearing and purging of my house. I came across some old pictures and an old friend came to mind, Mary. Mary and I were friends off and on since we were kids but once we hit adolescence we were very close. So it goes, a particular event happened that strained our friendship. Unfortunately, it was not strong enough to withstand boys, which left me very hurt. In the illusion of adolescence, Mary hurt me very bad. At that time it was the second biggest lesson in forgiveness in such a short life. I remember not wanting to deal with the pain and just wished with all my might that everything would go back to the way it was prior to the wrong doing. I did not want my life to change. I did not want to find a new friend. But indeed, we were headed in different directions and the closeness we shared was no longer.
It didn’t feel like it at the time but our unraveled friendship was a gift. Our friendship made me look closer at other female friendships. I realized that I too had Mary’s tendencies and had not been a wonderful friend to others either. I recognized that I had room for improvement in how I treated others and myself. It also made me look closer at whom I would have in my circle of love. I did not try to dismiss others but I was wise enough to know that we are all at different stages of our journey and it helps me to have those around me who can support me and hold me up on the topsy turvy adventure called life.
I tell this story as when her name popped in my head a couple of years ago, the Course came to mind. I thought if I am Love, she must be Love too. I sat in an empty room and thought, how did it feel to call her Love? Then it came to me that since we are both Love, I could also be called Mary. Thus, I created an exercise, “Just Call Me Mary.”
I took out a big index card, wrote Mary’s name on it, and then tied a piece of string around each corner and wore it as a nameplate across my chest. When I put it on, I immediately felt this name weigh on my heart, literally and figuratively. Emotions started to come up and I realized my forgiveness work with this being was not done. So I let all these emotions and judgments rise up and clear out. I did not suppress anything. I kept the nameplate on until I could feel we were One in God’s Love, until I felt okay being called my sister’s name, until I saw no difference between her and myself. I recall that I had to go back to this nameplate a couple times just to be sure that the miracle was complete.
I went a step further and took this idea to my spiritual family. Everyone partook in the lesson and we each wore our nameplate of the Forgiven One. We went around the room and introduced ourselves as the name we wore while the others replied back “Hi, (name of the Forgiven One), welcome.” It was like a “Forgivers Anonymous” meeting. To hear yourself called the name of the person who you believe wronged you brings up a whole other bag of goodies. It left me saying “But I don’t want to be called Mary. I don’t want others to see me as her.” And I felt icky. Yet, remember there are no “if, and’s, or but’s,” all must be forgiven. I recall the exercise left all of us grateful that night. Things were released and more loved bloomed because of it.
I am very grateful Mary’s name came to mind when it did. I know we are both players in the game called life and she ignited a turning point for me in my life where I was called to take a hard look at how I was treating others and myself. At such a young age, she was my teacher and still is in many ways. And for that, I hold nothing but gratitude for the one who is Love, just as I am.
I still keep my nameplate on hand and have other blank ones ready for instances just like today when I survey the mind for any grievances I am still holding. Where am I keeping myself separate from Source? Where am I keeping a fellow brother or sister from their identity as Love?
“It is sure that those who hold grievances will suffer guilt, as it is certain that those who forgive will find peace. It is as sure that those who hold grievances will forget who they are, as it is certain that those who forgive will remember” (ACIM Lesson 68 3:2-3).”
Today, you will experience miracles as you allow your shift in perception to occur. All it takes is “a matter of motivation” (ACIM Lesson 68 4:3). Is it not motivation enough to know that in holding grievances you only suffer? You are in no way avenging another. You are only harming yourself. You are keeping yourself from peace. You are keeping yourself from Truth.
Let today persuade you to let down the gabble and know there is no judge or jury. We are all held in Love’s embrace and have done nothing wrong. We have all only been good stewards of the remembrance but now it is time to fully awaken.
“Try to feel safety surrounding you, hovering over you and holding you up” (ACIM Lesson 68 6:5).
Feel this safety as you bring light to the darkened areas of the mind, known as grievances. Be gentle and loving with yourself today as this step we are taking is a vulnerable one. But know that you do not take it alone. We all walk this journey together and are side by side as Love.
Namaste.