Challenging Yet Comfortable
It is good to get uncomfortable every now and then, and with the start of a new year, in our culture, it seems to be a good time to take on such an endeavor from a new health regimen to bettering our finances to taking steps towards creating the life we’ve always wanted. It is good to stretch beyond the comfortable boundaries we set for ourselves. However, it is in my experience that we only set those comfortable limits so that we can witness ourselves surpass them, albeit when we are ready, of course. Yet, it is key that we do not use comfortable to stay too safe nor uncomfortable as a means of creating unneeded suffering. That is why I like the idea of challenging yet comfortable, as it speaks of finding the balance in sustainable self-growth and nourishment.
As it is the start of a new year, there is no doubt that the excitement of our new ventures in 2018 will eventually wane, giving way to the sensation, this is hard. In the book, Whole30, I rather enjoy the tough love given by the authors, Melissa Hartwig and Dallas Hartwig. As the creators of Whole30 discuss the rigorous nutritional changes ahead, they state,
“We say this with love. IT IS NOT HARD. Don’t you dare tell us this is hard. Beating cancer is hard. Birthing a baby is hard. Losing a parent is hard. You’ve done harder things than this, and you have no excuse not to complete the program as written. It’s only 30 days, and it’s for the most important health cause on earth–the only physical body you will ever have in this lifetime” (Hartwig and Hartwig, 2015, p 15-16).
As I reside on Day 5 of Whole30, I think of these words, but not only in regards to nutrition but whenever I seem to catch myself thinking or feeling, in general, “this is hard.” I reflect on what it is that is hard and why? For this is how excuses are born and this is how we end up staying in our all too comfortable zones.
Each one of us is privy to our own definition and experience of what hard is. For one person it is getting up and committing to a daily exercise regimen and for another it is allowing herself at least one day of rest a week from exercise. Thus, it is never good to compare ourselves to another person, as we are all unique in our experience of what it means to be human. We all know what it means to suffer but the flavor in which that arises is wholly intimate and personal, solely for our use to explore and witness, as we journey to surpass any mental, emotional, or physical limitations.
Truly, we are all here trying to figure out this thing called life. Even the person you believe that has it “figured out,” does not. He or she just happens to be acting more convincingly at that particular moment but in reality knows no more than you. And the real kicker is that you both truly already have it all figured out, you both just enjoy playing the cat and mouse game of, “I know and you don’t” and “You know and I don’t.” As the adage goes, “it is what you make of it.” Yes, certain situations in life are tough. Pain is tough. Loss is tough. But, in general, it is what we make of it. It is our attitude and how we greet each moment that determines our effortlessness or resistance to what may appear to be difficult.
Recently, Rolling Stone Magazine interviewed U2’s Bono on a near-death experience he had in the last year. To this date, not only in this article but in other media resources as well, Bono has refused to give any details regarding what happened, just that it was health related. He only states that, although his experience was hard, it helped him to go to a deeper place as he worked with U2 to create the new album, Songs of Experience. He learned one cannot talk about experience without approaching the subject of death and here he was with his own to draw upon. I admire his firm stance on not discussing his ordeal. He stated,
“But, you know, people have had so much worse to deal with, so that is another reason not to talk about it. You demean all the people who, you know, never made it through that or couldn’t get healthcare!” (Bono. Interview with Jann S. Wenner. Rolling Stone Magazine 2018: p. 36. Magazine)
His response was diplomatic while at the same time very freeing. He has talked in general about his journey but has left just enough room for me and others to insert our own experience, and in doing so we see that we share a commonality rather than one person’s experience being more valued or difficult than another’s. Through Bono’s words I can share in his experience as a human being while knowing that I do not wear it, as I wear my own. As do you. It leaves space for me to clearly understand more what is challenging yet comfortable for me. That space of balance where I can blossom more fully without losing my precious petals. It is liken to finding our own individual boiling point or growth point. That place where we bubble over and get transformed into a whole new state. How exciting! And what a discovery!
Such is the journey, no matter the form or medium, to leave the space for balance, growth, commonality, sharing, and oneness. It is a fine line between challenge and comfort but we will never know until we brave crossing the water’s edge. And only you know where that edge is for you. Walk on. Namaste.
“What you got, they can’t steal it….Walk On.” -U2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwKEdFoUB0o